Searching Porn, Not Lost Paradize

Interview with Armen Ohanyan, writer, specialist of public relations

Armen, a few days after the incident of Harsnakar Restaurant we learned that doctors had a party in the same restaurant though the logical and human step would be to condemn and boycott the incident. What is the cause of this?

Doctors fooling around in Harsnakar are the famous four monkeys of Buddhism. If you remember, one of them shuts its eyes not to see the evil, the other closes its ears, the third its mouth, the fourth covers its groin. But these monkeys were wise, while our doctors are not Buddhists and if they continue this behavior, they will become mute if they do not start speaking, they will become blind if they do not start seeing, they will become infertile if they do not do that. In the long run, Harsnakar is the continuation of another crime, Poghos Poghosyan’s case in Paplavok Café. Why do bodyguards in Armenia kill people? Aren’t they called to be guardian angels of the body? The issue of immunity and value of body is an important issue. In the West the bodyguard is perceived as the white man Kevin Costner protecting the black woman Whitney Huston, and the English and Russian words denoting bodyguard denote full protection of the body, whereas the Armenian word means that only the back is weak, therefore they need to protect themselves from the rear whereas only they and terrorists born to them can hit in the front. In the front they are protected by their stomachs projecting a meter ahead of them. These stomachs are a sign of immunity because as my friend Arman Grigoryan says pregnant women are perceived as invulnerable and chubby men give a signal of resembling a pregnant woman, i.e. making their immunity visible from afar. In this meaning, Nemets with his army of bodyguards and motorcade of SUVs is one of the most interesting types because he wholly presents the old-fashioned – rabiz – fascist image of an immune chubby Republican as a sample representative of the government.

Armen, how could those doctors have a party in a place where their colleague had been torn to parts? So their personality does not differ from that of the offenders?

There is an issue of vital space. If we go into detail, we will have to emigrate because you take a cab, and it belongs to a chubby Nemets, you go to a shop, it belongs to someone else, and we are scared by thoughts that this belongs to one, that belongs to the other, and we are unaware that though they have title to this or that, in fact, everything belongs to the Russians.

So, on top of turning our vital space to a marsh, these chubby nemets frogs talk about Armenia from sea to sea while people are drowning in this marsh, already committing suicide in families, like the father and son last week. And they offer their old-fashioned primitive rabiz to us as national conservatism. National conservatism is not conservative only regarding one issue. In the past 40 years it has been expanding the territory of Armenia from sea to sea but this science fiction of a ruse won’t foster democratic transition of the third republic or its establishment.

And they understand that the more they talk about seas, the more people will go to real seas whereas the task was clear from the very beginning – establish de facto which was established de jure in 1992, namely Armenia as a sovereign, democratic, fair, free, independent republic with diversity and equality before law.

In fact, Believe to Change was not operational.

The slogan did its black job, it is already history, whoever believed, whoever changed, no positive result was reached, of course, some dared not to believe and changed, there used to be a coalition, there is no coalition now, and this is something positive indeed.

In fact, the Republicans have been left alone together with their chubby Nemets men.

What black job do you mean?

You don’t know? They are the black ones, and the slogan had one purpose – return Chorni to the palette of the government as the only dominant color and I had only one disappointment – Chorni was not appointed minister of ecology. Because matching green and black would be interesting in terms of pure political esthetics. And it is of concern that the black ones are prone to blacken the most colorful place. They must do everything to talk the government out of pulling hi-tech down.

You mean it is funny to set up a separate ministry for the IT sphere?

Let the black ones explain what they must do on my and your money, honest taxpayers. I am ready to pay for the soldier on the border not to be cold, the lonely pensioner not to be hungry, the sick jobless person to get free treatment, I can somehow tolerate that the Diaspora is asked to come back home without a purpose on my expense but I am not ready to pay for technology not because we did not have a ministry, there is not a ministry in most countries with developed IT but there is one in Pakistan, as a result of inaction, cretinism of other old-fashioned nemets men.

Why has the government, which has an adjunct committee, failed so far in all these years to develop OCR to be able to digitalize Armenian texts, or a normal spellchecker, translator, let alone a good keyboard driver which is not something difficult at all? Meanwhile, our chubby nemets men go to Vietnam, come back and decide that we need a ministry, by the way theirs is a ministry of science and technology.

In brief, with or without a ministry, the problems will not be resolved. Today Google statistics says Armenia’s frequent search key is porno, not sex, porno, and not the lost paradise lying from sea to sea.